MY brother-in-law Mick descends upon Weymouth tomorrow evening. It is an annual pilgrimage from his home in Islington, North London. But...God help me this year.

For over 30 years he and my sister Teresa have been season ticket holders at Arsenal. And nobody dare utter a bad word against his beloved Gunners in general and Arsene Wenger in particular. Until now.

I have kept the text message he sent me (expletives deleted) after the recent 2-1 home defeat by Aston Villa.

It reads: “Keith – that’s it. My last trip to The Emirates. I’ve had it up to here with that Wenger. And that garbage he calls a team. And they’ve just announced I have to pay a 6.5% increase in my season tickets for next season. It is an insult. No. No more. They can stick it.”

Oh dear. He is clearly not a happy bunny.

But where does that leave me? Two weeks of doom and gloom. That’s where. Mick is a very sociable chap (usually) who likes a drink. Down at his favourite Weymouth watering-hole – The Ship on the harbour – he will gladly talk football with anybody and everybody until the cows come home. But this year I’m not so sure I can lift him from his depression. But family first and so I am on a mission.

I just pray we bump into the ebullient Peter Hawkins. That should help. Peter is the proprietor of the Cactus Tea Rooms and Restaurant on Weymouth’s Esplanade. He is not just born and bred Swansea but was Welsh Schoolboys football captain. His beloved Swans have just beaten Reading in the play-off final at Wembley to become the first Welsh side to play in the Premier League. And he is “ecstatic”.

Peter went on to play professional football with Northampton Town until two broken legs in quick succession curtailed his then burgeoning career and ruined a big-money move to Aston Villa. He wound up his career at Weymouth where he became a big favourite with the fans at the old Rec for over four years.

“I was working on Bank Holiday so I recorded the whole game,” he says. “What a day for Swansea. It was fantastic. Magic!”

If Peter can’t lift Mick I might try Steve, the town centre postie. What a story he has to tell: “When I was 13, I suffered a brain haemorrhage and spent a long time in Dorset County Hospital. A relative bought me in a Manchester City annual to try and cheer me up – and they have been my team ever since. It is fantastic to see us challenging United again.”

Then there’s big Terry, a former publican, who rides around town on his push-bike bemoaning the fate of Chelsea to anybody who cares to listen: “Manchester United didn’t win the title – Chelsea and then Arsenal threw it away.”

Failing that, phone shop worker Ben of St Mary’s Street might do the trick. He is a fellow Gooner and is suffering just like Mick.

“It cannot go on like this,” he confronts me almost daily. “Six years of hurt. Six years of nothing. Wenger must go. We want Mourinho. NOW. He would spend, spend, spend. Big name players. That is what we want at Arsenal.”

If all that doesn’t work we’ve still got England to look forward to on Saturday. They play Switzerland in a crucial Euro 2012 qualifier and the town will be buzzing.

Come to think of it, watching England play under that Italian mercenary Fabio Capello (salary, £6m a year) is like watching paint dry.

Wait a minute. I’ve just remembered. Mick is also a member of Middlesex Cricket Club and thinks that Andrew Strauss is the best thing that has happened to English Test cricket since sliced bread. That’s it. Five days of the Second Test against Sri Lanka. That will definitely bring a smile back to his face.

Until Kevin Pietersen comes-a-cropper against a slow left-armer (again). I have a feeling that I am not going to win this one.