PLAYING rugby against East Dorset is the most pointless exercise in England.
The Iford Lane outfit are currently the only senior first XV in the country to concede a point in their league campaign.
Their three Hampshire Division Three victories have all been achieved without the opposition registering even a single penalty or drop goal, an extraordinary achievement in rugby terms.
To add to their shutout stats, the total run of blanks stands at a staggering five games, with two friendly triumphs to nil interspersed with their league successes.
"A few people have been mentioning the Guinness Book of Records," said East Dorset skipper Stuart Holt.
"But I think we've got to be realistic and take it one game at a time. There is no reason why we can't keep it going, although it only takes one kick to end it."
The sensational streak began with an opening league win, 11-0 at Overton. Next came a 45-0 friendly victory over Portsmouth Vets, then a second league shut-out, 25-0 against Verwood.
A 38-0 friendly triumph over Poole followed, with last Saturday's 71-0 trouncing of Stoneham making it five games and counting.
The blistering start to the season has put East Dorset firmly in sight of promotion to Hampshire Two and Holt, 28, believes much of the credit for the impenetrable defence can be laid at the door of coach Stuart Wilson, a former captain of the club.
"Last season and before, we pretty much had no coach," said Holt.
"But this season, Stuart has come on board and become coach. He was an excellent player and what he has given us is one voice. Stuart has brought us stability and you need that figure of authority.
"We went back to basics on restarts and defensive training. It's the Clive Woodward notion of starting with the defence, then moving on to other things.
"We've always had heart and when you have an 18-stone forward coming towards you five metres out, it's all about heart."
The current promotion push is a far cry from the dark days of two years ago, when the club, then called Portcastrian, considered disbanding due to a worrying dearth of players and lack of a clubhouse.
The club renamed themselves East Dorset and are now not only looking to make the step up to Hampshire Two, but look to finally be attracting funding for floodlights and for the long-awaited clubhouse.
"What we have at the club is a fantastic spirit," said Holt.
"We are all such good mates and we don't have the politics going on that other clubs have. We are a full-on, old-school rugby club. Touring sides always come back because we always show them a good time.
"Numbers have picked up more and more and we are now getting funding for various things, and we should have our clubhouse in a couple of years."
The next side aiming to burst the East Dorset bubble in Hampshire Three will be Lytchett Minster when the league fixtures restart in December.
Before that, they face a Dorset and Wilts Plate tie with Wheatsheaf Cabin Crew this month.
Although East Dorset are the only first XV in England with an empty points-against column, Chinnor 2nds, from the Berks/Bucks and Oxon Premier A division, also have yet to concede a point in their league campaign.
Incredibly, while Hampshire Three contains the only first XV yet to concede a point, it also contains the only first XV in the country yet to register a point, Overton.
Bournemouth overwhelmed North Dorset 63-0 in the Dorset and Wiltshire Seconds Cup first round.
Newcomer Will Paddison, an openside flanker, scored a hat-trick in his first start for the Lions and Scott Chislett, who bagged four touchdowns, ran in his second hat-trick of the season for the side.
Bournemouth hammered North Dorset in the first half with nine unanswered tries, but weren't so fluent in the second period and only managed a further two.
Their other tries came from Jon Beswick, Darren Clarke and Andy Edwards with Jon Sanchez adding three conversions and Chislett one.
Bournemouth Wanderers beat Fordingbridge 40-3 at home in a friendly, while Bournemouth Bedouins lost 35-0 at Romsey Vets.
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