OUTRAGEOUS and outspoken, American comedian Joan Rivers brings her First Farewell Tour to the Bournemouth Pavilion on November 2.

But don't worry, as the title of the show suggests, the 73-year-old New Yorker isn't planning on cashing in her chips just yet.

It's just that she reckons farewell tours are the in thing. "Everyone's doing them," she told me. "Besides I figured it might get the audience interested if it sounded like I might die on stage."

Much lifted and nipped and tucked, Rivers may not look her age - one commentator recently described her as having a waxy appearance "like a candle without the wick" - but she knows he can't go on forever.

She says death on stage would be a preferred way to go. "It'd be fabulous, but only if it was after the first half hour. My contract says I don't get paid unless I've done at least 31 minutes.

"I used to say to my daughter: 'If I'm on stage in Vegas and anything happens to me just strap me to the stool... as long as I do those 31 minutes."

Supporting Miss Rivers at the Pavilion will be frightfully English cabaret act Kit and The Widow.

Telephone 0870 111 3000.