With the great event starting tomorrow, I felt that it was only fair and proper that I gave you a definitive guide to what will happen over the next month or so.
With my legendary powers of being able to see the result of future events before they happen, the Odds On guide to the World Cup will obviously be as revered as the works of Nostradamus in centuries to come. How did he know that? They will say.
Group A will certainly be won by France (any bias towards places I have actually been is purely coincidental, I might add). The Uruguayans will kick enough of the opposition to ensure the runners-up spot. The Danes are too laid back to do anything and I don't even know where Senegal is.
Group B will be won by Spain. I like Barcelona and I've been to Tenerife, so there is no doubting my expertise in Spanish matters. My mate Phil supports Slovenia with the same sort of fervour that he supports Brentford. Another lost cause I'm afraid, although they might qualify in second place. Paraguay lost 4-0 to England, so they are obviously hopeless and the South Africans should stick to cricket and rugby.
Group C has China, a population of millions, but very few footballers, and Costa Rica, which is somewhere in Asia or South America or Africa or the world. Turkey will stuff the others apart from Brazil whose population will go nuts if they don't win the group.
Group D will be won by Portugal, because the other teams in the group would have trouble beating an egg. Poland will probably come second and as there are only about 22 people in the whole of the USA who know that the Soccer World Series is taking place, their demise will go completely unnoticed. The Koreans, the genial hosts, can sit back and watch the rest of the proceedings on some new fangled television that they have just invented.
Germany will win Group E, because I like German sausages. A completely logical reason for supporting them. Ireland won't qualify because Mick McCarthy is in the process of sending the whole team home, so Cameroon will be runners-up.
England will win Group F - you wish! - Or come second to Argentina, or come third because they can't beat Sweden in their opening game, or come last because we are English. Argentina first, England second - France in the next round. Bye Bye Sven!
Italy and Mexico will qualify from Group G. The Italians will score a goal in the first minute of each game and then use substitutes to ensure they have a ten-man defence for the rest of the match. The Mexicans should see off Ecuador and Croatia.
Finally Belgium will win Group G from Russia. My in-depth knowledge of the Tunisian squad has led me to the conclusion that they are hopeless. The Japanese, the other genial hosts, can sit back and watch the rest of the proceedings on some new fangled television that they have just invented.
So there we have it. The path to the final leads me to the conclusion that Italy and Argentina will be in Yokohama on June 30, and that one of them will win the Cup.
There are two golf tournaments this week, the British Masters at Woburn and the Kemper Insurance Open in Maryland. Either Darren Clarke or Padraig Harrington could win the British title, while Charles Howell or Scott Hoch could win in America.
On the horse racing front, Espada could win at Doncaster, while Kingscross has a chance at Kempton.
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