ON the eve of Iain Duncan Smith's big speech at last year's party conference in Bournemouth, the Tory leader rehearsed his entrance into the hall.

His advisers told him how to stride purposefully, how to pause and wave to the audience, even how to climb the BIC stage. He also rehearsed specific hand gestures to accompany key sections of his address.

This was the speech, you may recall, in which he warned voters not to underestimate "the determination of a quiet man". But he wasn't intent on being totally quiet, obviously, as experts were hired to teach him to lower his voice and breathe from his stomach, like an opera singer.

In total, the Conservatives have spent more than £100,000 on things like voice lessons and one-to-one "power walking" sessions since IDS was elected leader.

You might see this as money well spent on techniques used in public speaking. Conversely, you might see it as presentational mumbo-jumbo, style over substance.

If you've seen the pictures of IDS in 1998 and July this year, side by side, you might agree with the official line, which is that, in the first, he is "earnest and slightly worried", and, in the second, he's "relaxed and at ease". Personally, I think the most recent picture makes him look insufferably smug, and much prefer the old look, Bobby Charlton-style comb-over and all.

Consider the pictures of our Prime Minister, on holiday at Sir Cliff Richard's place in Barbados. Last week he wore a vest and Speedos - this week he's in swim shorts, much more sensible.

Then there's George W Bush, who never passes up the opportunity to pose in his favourite leather flying jacket, saluting all and sundry.

All of which wouldn't matter very much were it not for the death of Dr David Kelly and the Hutton Inquiry, (today's star turn, Alastair Campbell). You may find the inquiry boring, but I don't. There's much more at stake here than pernicious spin and frantic backside-covering - like honest, open government (or is that, perhaps, what's known as an oxymoron?)

Don't hold out too much hope, though. Not when Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like being one of the most sober candidates in the wacky porn star-studded race to become governor of California and the Americans' latest wheeze to bring Saddam Hussein to deserved justice involves manipulated images of the elusive tyrant as Veronica Lake and Billy Idol.

Maybe there's a lesson here for the hard-up Tories. Just get one of their consultants to superimpose Iain Duncan Smith's head on Jordan's body, get him miming to Gareth Gates... and the next election's as good as in the bag.