THEY do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Going by the number of leaping, pouting, preening, lip-smacking, bum-waggling Rolling Stones tribute bands there are these days, the Stones must be the single most flattered entity since, er, whoever it was compared whoever else it was to 'a summer's day.'
That's right; it was Chris Lonergan, talking about me. His drains had backed up and the butter had gone rancid in the heat.
Imagine how it must feel, though, to have actually been a member of the Stones. No, I can't imagine it either - but I know a man who can. Stand up Mick Taylor (Mr Kyps, Parkstone, Saturday, tickets on 01202 748945), the gent who had the unenviably bottom-puckering job of filling the recently-vacated two-tone spats of Brian Jones in 1969.
Mick memorably made his debut with the Stones at Hyde Park on July 5 of that epochal year at the tender age of 19, having already made a substantial name for himself through his stints with The Gods and John Mayall's Bluesbreakers.
As the surviving footage painfully attests, the Stones were as ragged as the proverbial seat of a farmer's trousers after sitting on spilt Massey Ferguson battery acid that day - but Mick's playing still shone.
Keith Richards, suckling a magnum of rubbing alcohol, magnanimously describes Mick as "a beautiful player; he taught me so much." The normally taciturn Charlie Watts was even moved to comment: "The Mick Taylor years were certainly our creative peak; he gave us so much musical credibility."
Similar glowing references are supplied by Jack Bruce, Carla Bley, Albert and BB King, Snowy White and Eric Clapton. How good is that?!
Closer to home, value-for-money fans should be throwing a half-pence piece on a length of string into the air with glee at the news that there are not one but two huge free festivals taking place this Sunday.
The scenic seaside setting of the Cove House Inn on Portland plays host to all of the following: Size Matters, Entity, Bitter Little Cider Apples, Deuce, The Gillian Tailforth Incident, Split Pea, The Mystery Machine, The Entire Population Of China, The Band and DJ Buffa (Cove House Inn, Chiswell, Portland, Sunday, noon-midnight). Oh, and some special guests and all.
Verily, your cup runneth over and floodeth the crotch of your trousers.
The eagle-eyed among you will have spotted 'The Band' in among the listings there, but I should point out that this is in fact a group comprised of Royal Manor School pupils and not Richard Manuel, Levon Helm, Rick Danko, Robbie Robertson and Garth Hudson - Bob Dylan's mates - who couldn't be talked into reforming specifically for this event.
Over in Langton Herring meanwhile, you'll find The Elevators, Nightshift, Loop Garou, Stress & the Also Rans, Robbie McIntosh, The Party Poppers, Jess Upton, Steve Wilson and the Innocent Bystanders and The Crack (Elm Tree Inn, Langton Herring, 11am-11pm).
You genuinely are spoiled for choice - and if I were you, I'd nip down the library and borrow some textbooks to bone up on your bilocation techniques if you don't want to miss out somewhere along the line ...
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