Hello! And welcome to the Odds-On Fantasy Football competition.

The Echo, along with every other newspaper in the country, runs its own Fantasy Football League and not wishing to be left out, I have devised my own Fantasy Football challenge for the current season.

Anyone wishing to enter should consult a

psychiatrist and take plenty of tablets.

You must choose one from each list and keep the score to yourself.

1 Which of my band of expert tipsters will be most successful this year?

a) Billy the Kid b) a referee friend of mine c) the Ayatollah d) the chief scribe

e) my mother.

Score 10 points each time the expert manages to survive a week without the chop. It would not be fair to include myself in this list, because I never get them right.

2 Conversely who will get most wrong?

a) my good self

Score 10 points every time I get it wrong.

3 Which foreign football team will I mention most during the course of the season?

a) Barcelona b) Vitesse Arnhem

c) Hamburg d) Ajax e) Chelsea.

Score 10 points every time the team is mentioned.

4 Which term will be used in Echo football reports most often?

a) the man in black b) gloveman

c) wizard, preferably Welsh d) starlet

e) we wuz robbed.

Score 10 points each time the term is used.

5 Which player will start on the substitutes bench most often for Weymouth?

a) Steve Claridge b) Simon Browne.

Score 10 points if the player starts the game on the bench, but lose 10 points if he is substituted back on to the bench during the game.

6 As I am always being told I go on too many holidays, which foreign country will I visit most during the current season?

a) Spain b) Holland c) Germany d) Italy

e) Liverpool.

Score 10 points every time I visit one of the countries.

7 Whose photo will appear most often in the Echo during the season?

a) Steve Claridge b) a referee friend of mine c) David Beckham

d) Osama Bin Laden.

Score 10 points every time the photo appears.

8 Which weekly position will my own Fantasy team appear in the Echo competition?

a) under 100 b) 100s c) 200s d) 300s e) 400s f) too many to count.

Score 10 points for each correct weekly result.

Entries should not be sent to anybody, just in case someone thinks you've lost the plot.

Chop chop for Billy. Fancy picking Brentford! Step forward the most expert of all experts as a referee friend of mine takes centre stage (again). He has chosen Millwall, Bristol City and Hull. Would you want him in your fantasy team?

Another golf tournament last week won by somebody no-one has ever heard of. What chance does a poor tipster have?

The NEC Invitational tournament in Ohio this week could go the way of either Ernie Els or Mike Weir, while Kirk Triplett could win the Reno Tahoe Open.

Moon Ballad has a chance in the Celebration Mile at Goodwood on Saturday.