HONESTLY, I have nothing at all against people who drive Range Rovers. If they feel that a massive four-by-four off-road vehicle - which does 15 miles to the gallon or something equally ridiculous - is the most economic way to take the kids to school or nip to the supermarket, that's entirely their own business.

But there is a breed of Range Rover driver who suffers from a most irritating habit that, for some reason, is shared with the owners of large Volvo estate cars. I don't mean having their lights on all the time, because the Volvo has been designed that way and the drivers obviously can't help that... we all know the car comes from Sweden, where is must be perpetually dark.

What the Range Rover and Volvo motorists have in common is the infuriating tendency to put a large sticker in their back window which warns: "CAUTION - Show Dogs in Transit!"

What on earth do they expect me to do about it?

Are they afraid that I will creep up to their back bumper at traffic lights and go "BLARE!!" with the horn, causing their Very Important Pedigree passengers to have canine coronaries? Do they worry in case I might peer through their windows and laugh at the Show Dogs in Transit because they've got curlers in their hair and protective polythene bags on their paws?

Surely it's not a warning for the creatures' own safety. I've seen the poor mutts being man- (and woman-) handled in the show ring, legs pulled apart so they stand exactly how the rulebook says they should stand, jaws forced open for dental inspections and heads yanked up. I can only assume that every last ounce of aggression has been bred out of them, otherwise the dog's natural reaction to such treatment would be to give the owner and the judge a severe mauling.

As for car stickers, there's a good case to be made for the banning of all rear-window notices.

The gloss has long since worn off witticisms like "Spending the Kids' Inheritance", which is often to be found stuck to the back of horrifically expensive motor-homes, or "Windsurfers Do It Standing Up" and other such vulgarities.

The rather snappy imperative "Keep Your Distance!" is good sense, but has absolutely no effect on the drivers of large trucks, who still tailgate their smaller victims at 70mph on the motorway, close enough not only to read the message but probably the printer's name on the bottom.

Evangelical Christians, who adorn their rear windows with such messages of hope as "Smile, Jesus Loves You" store up problems for themselves.

They run the risk of being cut up dreadfully by other motorists, who want to see just how deep the Christian belief in forgiveness does run.

They also set themselves the demanding task of driving around day-by-day exhibiting what the Bible calls "the fruits of the spirit". As these include the qualities of patience, self-control, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness and love, this is no small challenge for any driver on today's frantic roads.

It just wouldn't be the done thing to wind down the window and scream abuse at some little old lady doing 25mph on the Spur Road or give the finger to one of those idiots who think that the way to avoid queues of stationary traffic is drive down the outside and cut in front of someone at the last minute.