LURED by Spidey's web and hungry for more comic book hero action on the big screen?

You're probably not alone, but Catwoman is unlikely to sate your appetite.

As funky as the feline crime buster looks, she plays a very poor second fiddle to the web master this summer.

Halle Berry stars as the meek and mild Patience Philips, a designer for the mammoth cosmetics company Hedare Beauty. When she discovers the company's new skin cream is a "disease in a jar", she ends up flushed down a waste pipe to drown in a mire of sea water and sludge.

Left for dead she is miraculously brought back to life by a cat and imbued with all manner of pussy powers. From humble servant, Patience is transformed into a sex kitten in leather. Oh, and she has a whip.

And she's angry...

George Hedare (Lambert Wilson - better known as Merovingian from The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions) will stop at nothing to get his product on the market. He even replaces his wife Laurel (Sharon Stone) as the Face of Hedare. Bad move. Laurel has him killed and points the finger of blame at Catwoman.

Patience, meanwhile, is busy building bridges with her new friend, detective Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt).

Thus, all is set for a mighty showdown.

Only it's not that mighty... and not really much of a show. The much-vaunted head-to-head between Berry and Stone is more of a catlick than a catfight; and Bratt mistakes posing moodily for great acting.

Enigmatically named director, Pitof is happy enough with dressing his film - the sets and backgrounds are impressive - but seems unsure about what to do with the people in it. Catwoman's moves are so jerky you can almost see the wires, while her close ups are so elaborately contrived it's as if he's sending up action flick conventions.

If only. Despite the potential for characterisation, action, special effects and great story telling (killer cream, come off it!), Catwoman lacks claws, balls and bite.

Pass the litter tray...

See it at UCI, ABC