BT plans to axe 162 phoneboxes in Dorset. No doubt they'll be all the rural ones. All the ones in tiny isolated villages that are hardly used. They don't make much money anyway so BT might as well shut them down and concentrate its efforts on keeping the money-making boxes working.

After all nearly everyone has a mobile phone these days.

Well NO. Just stop a minute and let me tell you about my adventures in the land of BT.

Two weeks ago our phone stopped working. I live in Colehill, Wimborne so it's not the ends of the earth. I thought I'd just nip next door to use my neighbour's phone to ring up BT and get them to flick the switch that would fix the line.

Unfortunately my neighbour's phone had stopped working too. And so had all the others on my road - even the 79-year-old's who can't get out much and who relies on her phone for company and for emergencies. So I walked the 200 yards to the phonebox. On the wall of the box there is a notice that says the box is due to be removed because it is not used enough. It was dated 2003.

I rang the fault line number and was told by a robot voice to press one for something and two for something else and three for another thing. I realised it wasn't going to be quick job.

And after I'd made that choice I could press one for a fourth thing...

You get the picture.

I could hang on to speak to an operator or leave my phone number and they would ring back within 45 minutes. I, of course, couldn't leave my number as my phone wasn't working.

If I had access to the internet, the robot voice informed me, I could go on to their website and check the progress of the fault. I of course didn't have access to the internet as my phone was not working.

I was irritated by this time. So I went home and got my mobile phone, which being in Colehill and only half a mile away from two massive mobile masts hidden in the plantation, has terrible reception and doesn't work at all in the house.

I returned and told the automated service my mobile number and when they duly returned my call I was told that as there was a lot of flooding in the south we would be dealt with by August 19.

Two weeks' wait.

I questioned where exactly the flooding had been in Dorset, but the girl on the phone said she was in Scotland and she didn't know the details.

Well that didn't seem very efficient from a utility holding the monopoly for the country's telephone service, but I was left with the impression that I had to like it or lump it.

I told my wife and she wasn't very happy. I reminded her that I hadn't broken the phone, and when she had calmed down and refocused her anger on BT she gave them a call. The fault line engineers told her that, yes madam, they were aware of our problem and as there were elderly residents who relied on the line we were a priority.

BT promised to text us with updates. We haven't had any messages yet.

A week ago I rang again, and the news was the same. BT was waiting for a hoist to lift its engineers up to the top of a pole to fix the problem. The date for fixing the line was still August 19, sir.

Then a neighbour told me he too had rung that day, and he'd been told August 24.

My phone line should be fixed by the time you read this, but I don't hold out much hope.

And bearing this in mind I hope it is a priority to remove these phone boxes as then I can rest assured that they are safe for a very long time.

PS. BT doesn't have a phone number for compaints. You have to write!