EVERY four years, we put our sporting hopes in the hands of a few Britons in the expectation that their exploits will bring reflected glory to our nation.

And more often than not, we end up a little disappointed by the end result.

Yes, the Olympics is very much like the World Cup. Except we get to blame the Scots more.

It's easy, as an armchair sports fan, to overlook just how much hard work and talent goes in to an athlete even reaching the Olympics.

And with 200-odd nations taking part, getting into those top three medal positions is a mammoth achievement.

Yet, for those of us watching, only winning will do. We want to see our competitors putting Johnny Foreigner in his place, and if Mr Foreigner happens to be American or Australian, so much the better.

It rarely happens, though. And I think I know why.

You see, I don't believe we give enough thought to our skills as a nation when we enter Olympic events.

The Aussies are great swimmers, but then when you run the risk of having to outrun Great White sharks every time you go for a dip, you'd develop good swimming skills too.

And I can't help feeling that the Americans' dominance of the track events comes from the lawless days of the old West, where it helped to be light on your feet if you wanted to avoid trouble.

Unfortunately, modern sport seems little suited to British traits, and vice versa.

So what we clearly need are some new Olympic sports. Sports which match the British character. Sports such as:

1) Queuing. No other nation can touch us when it comes to polite queuing, and even though it's a dying art, we could still get a few medals before we lose the knack completely.

2) Car theft. We rule Europe when it comes to nicking motors. And it would give the nation's faux-Burberry-clad youth hero status when they got their hands on gold (as opposed to whatever it is that plates their chunky jewellery).

3) Throwing the Blame. Not my fault, guvna. Society's to blame. Or the telly. Or computer games. Or the meeja. Oh yes, we'd be in the medals for this one.

4) Celebrity building. No, not famous people putting up houses (though I'm sure Channel Four are considering it for the autumn). This would see individuals with no discernible skills or talents attempt to become household names. Or at least famous enough to appear in the tabloids. Plenty of competition from the USA, but we must be in with a shout.

5) Celebrity destruction. The opposite side of the coin. Teams take an established celebrity and try to bring them down by fair means or foul. If nothing else, it'll give our national hacks something to do one silly season in four.

6) Marathon television-watching. Which other nation could endure hours of reality TV and home improvement shows like the British? Gold for sure.

Of course, we could simply focus on trying to get better at existing sports.

We could try and inculcate a love of sport in young people, instead of shying away from involving them in "upsetting" competition.

Teach them to win and lose with equal grace, for example.

It's not a popular view among many educators, it seems. On one radio phone-in I heard this week someone told how his son's event on sports day was dancing!

Not very sporty, but hey, no-one loses, right?

People often cite the Americans "second place is first loser" attitude as the reason for their success. But I don't think that's right.

I believe they simply learn that losing doesn't mean you have to lose next time. That it's not the end of the world, just a stepping stone to getting better.

Whereas for too many Britons, losing is a habit we're scared of acquiring. Or worse, it's a disincentive to keep trying.

But until they let us change the rules and bring in sports only we can win, looking to the next generation is the best hope we have. Unless we want a nation of top dancers...