THIS year, the London Dungeon has launched a ride based on our most deep-seated primordial fears and nightmares.

It's called Traitor: Boat Ride to Hell, and apparently a lot of research went on before it opened. So that buttocks were clenched to the max, thousands of people across the country were asked just what scares the bejesus out of them.

Many admitted to being scared of the dark and unexplained noises at night, while others feared letting someone down important to them.

Public speaking, spiders, tax inspectors and circus clowns also gave our nation the heeby-jeebies.

Among the most common nightmares were being lost or separated from loved ones; arriving late for an important meeting; teeth falling out; drowning or being suffocated; and falling from a cliff or tall building.

Other night-time terrors included dreams of finding a corpse; being attacked by a mad axeman; getting stuck in sand or mud while trying to flee an attacker, and being naked in public.

The publicity proudly claims that the new ride takes the fare-payer through pitch black tunnels, gives them a sudden backwards plummet and a close shave with a huge gleaming axe blade (just sign your disclaimer at the door, folks).

I really can't imagine breaking into a sweat with this sort of caper.

However, place TV antiques expert David Dickinson and Jeremy Beadle at the entrance to the ride wearing nothing but thongs, and fear would be struck into the very heart of me.