COMMUTING is a pretty miserable endeavour, when it comes right down to it. All that queuing, shuffling on and off of trains, hoping that you make your connection and that the wrong type of leaves aren't rustling about on the line.

It's difficult to imagine how it could be made much worse.

So congratulations to the BBC for coming up with a fabulous idea for doing just that.

BBC3, a digital channel numbered after its average audience, plans to inflict something called a "flashmob" opera on travellers at one of Britain's busiest railway stations.

There you'll be (if you're at a so-far unnamed London station, anyway), morosely wondering why the 7.45 train still hasn't transpired at 7.55, when a 65-strong concert orchestra and three opera singers suddenly strike up.

Not exactly the best start to the day, which is why, to be fair, the whole thing is planned to happen at 8pm one day in the autumn.

Apparently, it's a contemporary take on the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, with engaged couple Mike and Sally falling out over Mike's obsession with football.

The action takes place on a train station (clever, eh?) as Sally decides whether to run off with another man or stay with her fianc.

If she's as decisive as most opera characters, and the commuters have my tolerance for modern opera, she'll be lucky not to be pushed under a train.

Mind you, it'll probably take her three arias and an encore to actually die...

It did start me wondering, as these things do, what other bizarre events could take place in unexpected venues.

How about a "contemporary take" (as that seems to be the phrase du jour) on Romeo and Juliet, with the star-crossed lovers cast as supporters of opposing football teams? And stage it at Old Trafford. During a Manchester derby match.

That should cause a few fans to choke on their prawn sandwiches.

And they could stage the next series of Fame Academy on the track during the British Grand Prix. It would mix the dual delights of a) drowning out the sound with engine noise, and b) increase the chances of contestants being, er, eliminated.

Or better still, how about getting Quentin Tarantino to film his new World War Two movie in the Big Brother house? It would liven up the Channel Four bore-athon no end, and if there's a little collateral damage along the way, then not many of us will shed a tear.