KAREN Legg has spoken for the first time about the disappointment of her non-selection for the relays at the Olympic Games in Athens - and she admitted she is considering her future as a swimmer.
The 26-year-old from Ferndown Otters told me she was "devastated" by the way things went in Athens and felt "very let down".
"In the past I have done everything that has been asked of me," she said.
"I have been on that relay team since 1998 and I have never let them down.
"But this time I feel I wasn't given the opportunity to prove myself. Of the girls who did swim in the relay, I feel I would have beaten two of them.
"I feel hurt and let down by what's been going on."
Legg's problems began when she finished only fifth in the 200m freestyle at the Olympic trials in Sheffield in April. Karen Pickering, the other ever-present in the 4x200m freestyle team that has broken world records and won world and Commonwealth titles in the last five years, was an even more distant seventh. But both were selected for the relay squads in Athens, Pickering on the strength of her third place in the 100m freestyle in Sheffield.
Legg said she was told by Britain's national performance director, Bill Sweetenham, that those who finished in the first four at the trials in April had priority and if you didn't achieve it then you would not be guaranteed a swim.
In the case of the men's 4x200m freestyle, two of the six-man squad swam a time trial in the Olympic pool following the heats in which the other four competed.
One of the two then swam in the final on the strength of his performance in the time trial.
But there was no such time trial in Athens for the women's relay.
Legg said her only opportunity to prove herself was a race between her and Pickering, held in an almost deserted training pool at the team's pre-Olympic camp in Cyprus.
Pickering won the race by the slimmest of margins - 0.03sec - with a time of 2:02.15 to Legg's 2:02.18.
"When we did that swim-off I didn't realise that whoever won would be in the Olympics," said Legg.
"If I had known that I would have let my time from the Sheffield trials stand.
"I lost it by three 100ths of a second, which is nothing. I feel it wasn't fair to have done that."
While Legg watched the whole Olympic swimming programme from the athletes' section of the grandstand, the veteran Pickering, 32, swam in the heats and finals of both the 4x100 and the 4x200 freestyle relays, clocking the second fastest time - 1:58 - in the final of the longer event.
Legg, who was unable to speak before because of a media blackout imposed on the swim team, said: "When Picks was under pressure in the final, she performed really well. But if I had been given that opportunity I feel I would have gone as well as she did."
Legg, whose debut Olympics in Sydney were wrecked by an illness that caused her to miss two of her three events and to be below par in the third, described the Athens Games as "probably the hardest time of my life."
"It wasn't like an Olympic Games for us. We couldn't go and watch other sports or attend the opening ceremony and we had to leave early to swim in Manchester," she said.
She added: "It has been really hard for me mentally. I don't know whether I am coming or going."Along with the rest of the Olympic squad, Legg returned from Athens last Wednesday to take part in the British short course championships in Manchester.
There she swam only the 100m freestyle, finishing 16th in her slowest time for many years, before pulling out of the 50m and 200m events and going home.
"You can see from my performance here that I am not in the right frame of mind," she said.
"I was told that if I pulled out my lottery funding could be stopped. That's what I am risking but at this time I have to do what's right for me.
"If I had stayed in Manchester and swum the 200m freestyle, I would have done a really slow time and I didn't want that."
Legg said she now plans to have a break from swimming while she considers her future.
"At the moment it's hard to say what I will do," she said. "When I feel I am ready to come back I will. It might even be after Christmas.
"I have to come back feeling hungry for it and at the moment I have no desire to be here. I feel I am being pushed out a little bit."
Legg - the only British swimmer to win five medals at the Commonwealth Games in Manchester two years ago - said there were plenty of precedents for people coming back successfully after a break.
Her best friend Sarah Price took three months off in 1998 and has since held a world record and won European and Commonwealth backstroke titles.
Mark Foster was out of swimming for three-and-a-half years before returning to win world titles and break world records.
Millfield's Ed Sinclair also missed a year due to illness two years ago but came back in time to qualify for the Olympic team in Athens.
"At the moment I feel I am not in the right frame of mind for training and I haven't been for a long time," said Legg.
"It doesn't matter what anyone says, it doesn't help. Swimming has been my life professionally since 1998 and now it's like I am grieving.
"If I lose my Lottery funding after pulling out at Manchester, it will mean I have to go out and get a job. That's scary.
"If I then decided to carry on swimming I would have to do it part time. Or perhaps I would have to do some coaching.
"But I think my head is more important than my swimming and I need to get my head right."
Great Britain's team manager Craig Hunter said: "The relays were selected in accordance with the relay selection criteria which we set prior to the Games.
Following swim-offs it was decided that the times achieved by some swimmers did not warrant places in the teams to compete in either the heats or finals."
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