SITTING with friends in a restaurant on New York's Upper West Side a couple of weeks back our conversation was suddenly shattered by a police car screeching past, siren wailing.
Not exactly unusual for Manhattan, you might, think but as the sound of NYPD's finest disappeared in the distance I heard myself uttering the words: "Blimey, this town's getting as bad as Bournemouth."
A joke? Well sort of. But the fact is that, certainly at night, many parts of New York City - once the most challenging of urban environments - are or certainly feel as though they are considerably safer than Bournemouth.
I have visited New York many times over the past 25 years. When I first went there in the late '70s and early '80s it was a seriously dangerous place. You needed a degree in street wisdom just to remain unmugged.
In recent years, though, it has changed massively. Zero tolerance from the authorities backed by a raft of new and rigidly enforced laws have swept the gangs, junkies and thieves off the street.
And even as I write Mayor Michael Bloomberg is setting about ridding the place of those unsightly homeless people.
It's best, of course, not to ask what's happened to the underclass. You can bet your life you won't get a straight answer and, if you do, it won't be a comfortable one.
But I have to admit that as I found myself walking from Central Park across Columbus and Amsterdam Avenues onto Broadway at 11 at night, I did wonder the exact nature of the draconian measures that have been taken to clean up New York.
How was it I could feel completely safe, whereas a similar walk through the centre of Bournemouth would mean the very real probability having to negotiate my way past gangs of mindlessly aggressive drunks?
Sadly, New York is fast metamorphosing into Disneyland: a kind of LA East, a fantasy town where everything looks like a set from Sex and the City or an MTV video.
It's a terrible price to have to pay for safety, and although the superficial attraction of such a squeaky-clean society is relatively simple to understand, I don't actually think it's the answer.
So, if Tony Blair wants to clean up Britain and rid towns like Bournemouth of the yob culture that is rapidly spiralling out of control, I suggest that, for once, he doesn't follow the example of his chum George W. Bush.
Get tough by all means, but don't get silly. The key is in creating a truly enjoyable quality of life.
I may be nave but I honestly believe that if you put people under less pressure, give them a decent education, job prospects and affordable homes, they won't be quite so desperate to escape into mindless oblivion every night of the week.
First published: Oct 4
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