I WAS on a plane recently where the in-flight movie was Day After Tomorrow. It struck me that perhaps this wasn't the best choice of entertainment for those people who get somewhat twitchy about being 35,000 ft up.

Described as a "hit disaster movie", Day After Tomorrow is basically about how climate change spells the end of the world - and features a plucky American weatherman, played by Dennis Quaid, in a race against time to save civilisation. (Can't see the recently-retired Michael Fish as the inspiration, somehow).

The actors are totally overshadowed by the computer-generated images (or CGI) that dominate so many (too many) films these days. Giant tidal waves wipe out entire cities and thousands of extras are drowned, burned or frozen to death.

The plot is corny, the script stuffed full of cliches and members of the cast cover the whole range, from ham to corn. In short, it's a turkey.

As a small concession to plane passengers, I'm reliably informed, at least one scene of aerial catastrophe was excised from the movie - but plenty of mayhem remained.

A few minutes into the film, I wondered whether a cruise liner might show Titanic, or whether anyone would pay for a screening of Towering Inferno if they happened to be staying on the top floor of a tall hotel. Then I stopped watching, not through fear, but boredom.

Now, though, Day After Tomorrow is out on video and DVD, and a leading home entertainment company claims to have surveyed thousands of people to find out how they'd spend their last day on earth.

Most said they'd resign from work. Fair enough, I suppose, although there are probably some people who'd volunteer for a bit of overtime.

The second-most popular answer was, "I'd give my mother-in-law a piece of my mind", which struck me as very odd and incredibly hackneyed. I thought all those hoary jokes ("Now take my mother-in-law, someone, please") went out years ago, and even then they were old hat.

So once again, I have my doubts about whether or not a so-called survey is genuine. Maybe teams of researchers did go out on the streets and actually question thousands of people, and maybe a big percentage of respondents really would waste valuable time giving their mother-in-law a tongue-lashing.

On the other hand, maybe the researchers didn't actually leave the office. I mean, do you know anyone who has ever taken part in one of these stupid surveys? Thought not.

Anyway, cracking on... at number three was "stay in bed with my partner", four was "blow all the savings", and number five was "go to a top restaurant".

Some said they would have an end of the world party, others would take an expensive sports car for a spin or "go somewhere hot".

All this, of course, doesn't stack up with the top answer.

If everyone told their boss to shove the job, there'd be no one serving in the restaurants or flying the planes to the Canaries.

But what the heck, it's only a silly survey. You can tell how daft it is by the fact that "I would tell my family and friends how much I really love them" only got in at number seven.

So go on, tell them you love them today, you know it makes sense. And read that booklet the government sent out recently, the one telling you what to do in the event of a terrorist attack or natural disaster.

Then, when the end of the world does come, you can phone in sick, have a nice lie-in and watch back-to-back episodes of EastEnders to cheer you up as the tsunami comes roaring in across the Atlantic...

First published: October 19