The right to be ourselves

"The right to feel safe when going out - from strangers, from burglars and from bullying.

"The right to feel safe in our own homes, the right to confidentiality, the right to relationships and the right to have feelings."

Everyone in the room is over 30.

Most of the rights they campaign for are the rights most adults barely think about.

Handing a plate of biscuits around, Amanda adds: "We get treated like we are children. People without learning disabilities take what they are allowed to do for granted, like being allowed to go out on their own and live on their own and work.

"But with help there is a way people with learning disabilities can do it."

Support from family and the care system is vital, but for Amanda and many others like her that help also comes from Bournemouth Forum, a place they can meet, work and speak up about what they want and how they feel.

Run for and by people with learning disabilities, the group supports members, allowing them to be independent, and campaigns for their rights.

Their Bill of Rights, a message to anyone and everyone recently presented to the Mayor of Bournemouth, spells out their wishes.

Taking her place in the circle of seats in the room, Amanda tells how she has been coming here for more than three years.

The forum, which has 285 members, has been running since 2000 and last year broke away from an umbrella group to become a registered charity and limited company.

"It has made a big difference. We feel like we run it ourselves," she says.

They do.

Amanda works in the office, as does her boyfriend Ian Gavin, sitting next to her.

Their friend Justine, sitting opposite, also works here.

They each lead groups focussing on different topics like transport, housing, education and work.

They produce a newsletter and are taking a course to become qualified trainers and put those skills to use within the forum.

Amanda is also the co-chair of the learning disability partnership board, regularly meeting representatives from the fields of education, health, transport and the local council to try to improve the lives of people with learning disabilities.

"If the forum wasn't here I would be mostly at home. But now I know I can move on, I know different people and I met the Queen last year. I was the only person with learning disabilities who met the Queen when she came to the Lighthouse," she says smiling.

Holding her hand, Ian says: "I like the forum. I enjoy meeting up with everyone and going to meetings. It has changed people's lives, helped them become more independent."

Warren Ealy, who lives with his wife Shereen in Bournemouth, his independence was all about the right to drive.

At 19 he went to a driving assessment centre where people with head injuries, mental health problems and learning disabilities have to go.

Those assessing him said they didn't think he would be able to drive.

"When I came back I said 'I'm going to prove to this lot I can do it'. I was so up for it," said Warren.

"I said to my mum 'I'm going to prove these people wrong. I'm not letting some organisation put me down'."

He learned in an automatic and is full of praise for his instructor.

He passed his test on the second attempt and has been driving for around 14 years.

"My mum was over the moon when I passed," adds Warren, who also works in the forum office and at his family's snooker club.

"It's about self-determination. If you want to do it, you can do it.

"Being able to drive makes so much difference. You feel more independent."

Sitting beside him, Justine Brown is 37.

She lives with her fiance Alan Humphry in a bungalow in Kinson.

"I love it," she says.

"It was important to me to get my own place."

She smiles as she talks about Alan.

They have been going out for six years.

He proposed on her birthday last year and she hopes they will marry next year.

"I do things for myself like doing my housework and cooking. It's hard, but I can do it. The carers help me and are always supportive of me."

She says she is doing more for herself since the Forum was established.

"I'm travelling on the bus, travelling here to work and going to college."

She also attends a drama group for people with learning disabilities at the Bournemouth Centre for Community Arts.

"I'm more independent, more capable of looking after myself.

"I want to marry Alan and I will. It's my decision and my right."

Justine leads the housing group at the Forum.

They talk about moving out of home to be more independent and she shows people the choices open to them.

"The Forum has made a big difference to me. I like working here. I like using the computers and the phone."

But as positive as the people here are, society can be cruel.

They are called names, looked at strangely.

And it hurts.

Justine talks about how she was bullied on the bus, although that has stopped now.

Turning to face her, Warren says: "I hate bullies. They always pick on someone weaker than them."

They all have their own stories, none of them easy to hear.

Ian says bullying is one of the major problems they face.

"People keep looking at me," he says. "I am called names. That makes me feel annoyed and angry. They shouldn't do that to people with learning disabilities."

He has been a volunteer at the forum for a couple of years and leads the Being Part of the Community Group.

"The forum has changed my life. I do love coming here and meeting other people. If I hadn't come here I wouldn't have met Amanda."

With that he grabs her hand again and smiles.

"Are you alright babe?" he asks.

She nods.

And somehow, together, side by side, there is a strong feeling everyone in the circle will be.

For information about the forum call 01202 303765.

Bill of Rights

1. The right to feel safe when going out. from strangers, and from bullying.

2. The right to feel safe in our own homes. to learn how to be safe in our home. to feel safe from staff. to be able to report staff when they are mean. 3. The right to confidentiality. when making a report, it won't come back on you. we decide who sees our life plan. around health issues (patient - doctor)

4. The right to relationships. to learn about friendships. marriage. engagements. sex education.

5. The right to have feelings. the right to grieve. the right to get mad.

6. The right to say NO! to bullying. to drink or drugs. to strangers. to parents. to staff.

7. The right to adulthood. make our own decisions. to get married. have children. have sex. birth control. to vote. to have a drink.

8. The right to live where you want to live. to live where you want to. to live with who you want to.

9. The right to independence. to make decisions. to go out. take care of our own stuff. run our own business. to choose what to do. come and go when we want. be the boss of our own life.

10. The right to transportation. accessible transportation. to learn to drive.