IF you've been indoors at lunchtimes this week, you might have seen a TV programme which could just represent a new low in broadcasting.

It's called Have I Been Here Before?, and the idea is that a bunch of C-list celebrities undergo regression therapy to see whether they were any more interesting in a previous life than they are in this one.

As a result, Anneka Rice discovers she was a teenager stowing away on a ship to the Americas in the 16th century, Linda Lusardi was a 14th century peasant who died from the plague and Joe Pasquale discovers he was... I don't know - somebody really annoying probably.

Now, I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't pass comment on films, plays and television programmes that you haven't watched. But in this case, I'll make an exception.

If it turns out that this is a brilliant, sceptical piece of TV journalism, I'll gladly correct myself later. But at face value, it sounds as though TV may have reached a nadir. Again.

My first reaction was to think this must just be the latest of those TV programmes which attempt to regale the gullible with tales of the supernatural - a bit like those digital channels which consist of nothing but haunted house programmes. (You know the kind of thing - a bunch of people spend the night in a damp old castle somewhere, and at 3am they're shocked to discover it's strangely cold.)

On second thoughts, however, I am convinced this programme is part of something more sinister.

It can hardly be coincidence that Have I Been Here Before? has come to the screen at the same time as work and pensions secretary David Blunkett has been announcing a crackdown on people who live on benefits when they could be at work.

I think it's all part of a plan.

When I was a kid, the best thing about being off school sick was the fact that you might be entertained with a film - preferably anything with Terry Thomas or Norman Wisdom - or by the repeat of some prime-time ITV drama. But who could stay in the house through tales of celebrities' past life regressions, not to mention endless programmes about people decorating their homes, moving house or just shouting at each other? I think the plan is to drive from the house anybody who is physically capable of going out.

I just wish they wouldn't be so brutal about it.

First published: May 25