At around 22.30 last night, in a clear sky that hadn't seen a cloud in nearly four weeks, an overly bright star went hurtling over head from the South West to the North East. It was very distinctive and travelling very quick. I followed it's path as I lay on the terrace, star gazing, with a can of Cruz Campo' in my hand, (no, I'd only had the one!)

It was obviously a man made celestial body but it was certainly not following the any of the usual satellite trajectories I had tracked and studied since arriving. (This had been a fascinating late night pastime in England following and identifying the thousands of pieces of junk that had been shot up into our higher atmosphere).

No, this was something special and I was witnessing it for the first time. It was actually the Space shuttle attached to the ISS (International Space Station) passing overhead on one of its many orbital excursions around our globe. I was fascinated as I imagined the people inside and what they must be viewing from their end. It was marvellous to see and one couldn't fail to be in awe of such a technological feat of engineering. It was doubly amazing in the fact that over ten years ago, my family and I had visited the Kennedy space centre in Florida where we had witnessed NASA actually building the pods that are now flying overhead inhabited by astronauts. Clever stuff or what, as I said last week, it's not all doom and gloom, there are times when you can witness the human race doing great things like this type of exploration, but for the majority of the media it would seem, good news is not popular.

And that goes for here too! Yesterday, we watched with interest as we sometimes do, a Spanish Living in the Sun', a so called property advice programme, where the presenter actually stated, and I quote, This may not be a good time to buy a property in Spain!' Hogwash yet again! There may be a downturn in the housing market at the moment, but I tell you this, in my limited experience of helping people to buy or sell properties here in Malaga, this is an excellent time to buy! There are more bargains weekly as people look to cash in short term investment properties in favour of either downsizing, moving away or moving back to whence they came.

You can buy a substantial legally registered country house with pool, driveway and 10,000 sq. meters of good land for the price of your average detached three or four bedroomed town house in England. And for those like me who intend to weather the so called world recession, there is still a lot of money to be made by such an investment.

I would suggest people like our friend the TV presenter, is reading off a Government script which is worried about the growing exodus of middle class tax payers opting to cash in on their long term bricks and mortar pension fund to live in the sun and experience the less traumatic side of life.

I mean lets be honest, generically when an emigrant leaves Britain, he takes it all away with him, when an immigrant arrives in Britain, he usually brings nothing! (Oh dear, wash my mouth out!)

Luke settled, Joseph ready for the off, furniture gone, house sold, provisional f' date set, time was moving on swiftly so now it was time to close everything off. Joe left for Dartmouth at the beginning of June and would hopefully pass-out', as the term goes, in around eight weeks. This would take us up to the final week of our rental contract. It would be tight but hopefully would fall into place.

We knew we would have a number of items that we either couldn't or wouldn't sell and the boys had a number of personal items they would want stored while they sorted out their longer term living and vocation details. So we opted to rent a warehouse lockup space in Lynch Lane where we could store whatever was left in secure premises. That sorted, the second removal trip to Spain was booked with the same company for the day before we were due to leave Alma road. That done, Rose started the laborious task of pre closing as many agency and service accounts as possible. Most we believed could be easily and quickly done by telephone, how wrong was that!

With three weeks to go, we must have rung everyone on our list but got very little sorted. It's true what they say, call centres are positively useless!

Nine times we phoned the satellite TV company SKY, speaking to a different person every time. Six times each for the electric and gas company. Five times for BT, about nine times each for the Council tax office, car insurance, house insurance and others. Why was it that all these agencies without exception had the same problem of not being able to understand we were leaving the country and did not want their services anymore? Everyone we phoned, we also wrote to, more than once for some. This was a problem we had not foreseen and it caused us to begin with somewhat more stress than we would have liked, what with everything else. But logical as ever, after we had done everything humanely possible to inform these people of our intentions, including dates, times, amounts owed, billed and paid, I sat back and calmly said to my wife, sod'em!'

As I said earlier, we wanted to leave a clean debt free sheet behind in case unforeseen circumstances in the future meant us needing to associate ourselves at a later date with these agencies, therefore, we did everything by the book and hoped for the best. It was even more astonishing however, and costly, that with many service providers, not only is there a connection or commencement fee, they also have they audacity to charge a disconnection fee which means paying for having nothing! what a rip off!

I have to say not all was doom and gloom on the severance front. Believe it or not, some of the most helpful and polite conversations we had was with the tax and pensions offices in Wales and other places.

They appeared to grasp all we were doing and helped out accordingly with supply of the correct forms and departments we would need before departure.

Our bank was pretty good as well which meant all monies could be sorted out before leaving with regard to investment and pension payments which would be used for our day to day living expenses.

We already had a transfer arrangement between our banks in England and Spain, so everything was smooth there. DVLA at Swansea was also pretty efficient, apart from a small road tax hiccup with my motorbike which was sorted quickly, they too did their best to ensure our vehicle documentation and the like was sorted.

There was very little else we could while we waited for Joe to finish his induction at Dartmouth which was about a week away and the need to find a place to stay for the transit week between leaving the rental and f' day.

It amazes me that in times when things are tight and business is slowing, some industries appear to do the opposite of logic to try and gain extra revenue. Rose and I decided to book ourselves into a B&B for six days, living out of a suitcase for a short time while, as previously stated' making sure all was done and dusted before departure. Astonished however that such a so called premier holiday town as Weymouth could have so many dingy, below average, over priced establishments lying half empty or closed at the time of year recognised by everyone else as the peak' season! It wasn't until we ourselves tried to book one of these places that we realised why so many had given up coming for a holiday, (as borne out by the Councils own figures for residential tourism which indicated things were at an all time low for hoteliers), for the fact that most places were just too expensive for what little they were offering!

We found an acceptable room with the smallest en-suite I have ever seen and were charged nearly £600 for B&B for six days. No frills, no other services, even the bar and lounge they had was closed. So it doesn't take a genius to work out that a family of four for that same week at the same place before meals would cost nearly £1200 a week! Seafront aspect or not, this place was one of the cheaper places, and I saw some pretty dowdy ones far more expensive.

Money for old rope, we would never contemplate ever staying in a holiday hostel like it again, we would, and have, taken up one of the kind offers from friends to stay with them, all for the price of a meal or two for their hospitality.

Perhaps the tourism chief for the town should look at what the Continent offers for that kind of money. Family of four, flights, full board, swimming pools and bars, beaches, aircon rooms with large bathrooms, children's playrooms, guaranteed weather, waiter/room service, balcony etc, £600!

Now don't get me wrong, it's still my beloved Dorset, but you have to compete with these other places abroad otherwise you'll be left behind. And whether you're into foreign travel or not, a luxury warm family holiday for the price of a dingy B&B in the cold will make even the hardiest and most loyal think twice!

Useful tip
Unless you're after anything specific, there is little else I can appraise you of with regard to do's and don'ts. There are things I come across daily that either makes life easier or empowers me with a greater understanding of how life should and is lived here.

It only remains in this particular section of the feature to advise that if you want to know anything specific or require a more detailed account about a certain subject I have or have not covered, then feel free to e' mail or phone me on the number or address advertised on my Safe as Houses' banner. Don't worry, the information is free!

Useful hint
We did everything possible to leave a clean sheet behind in the UK with regards to making an honest and dignified break from the bureaucracy which is Big Brother'. Some people choose to leave their debts, bad feeling and a trail of unhappy agencies and services behind them.

One thing you can be sure of though, unless you get these things sorted best you can before you leave, in the unlikely but still possible event that you do return to Blighty for whatever reason, those misdemeanours will inevitably come back to haunt and bite you in the bum!

We have known people who have done just that and now have the unenviable task of grovelling while attempting to pay off debt and earn some kind of credit rating after returning home'.

It's not my place to tell you what to do, and I don't care, I just point out the pitfalls or benefits of what happens should these things come to pass.

You can lose yourself and start afresh in Spain or any other foreign country you choose to emigrate to, but remember, if you go back, you start where you left off, and your past catches up with you pretty quickly!

Spanish facts
You're liable to cause panic if you state It's raining cats and dogs outside!' in Spain, they take things like that literally. Rather you say it's raining Frogs' as this pertains to a heavy shower.

Mexico lost more than 50% of it's country during the American/Mexican war.

The small river that runs through Madrid is called the Manzanares river.

Barcelona is Spain's largest seaport city.

And one for the ladies, the hip swinging, Latin dancing, all round good looking egg Ricky Martin was born here in 1971.

Useful phrase
Dónde esta el/la? primero izquierda, segundo derecho, recto en al fin.
Pronounced: Dohnday ehstah ayl/lah..? preemayroh ithkeeayrdah, sayhoondah dayraychoh, rektoh ayn ahl feen.
Meaning: (Variants of the phrase either heard or spoken).
Where is the (m/f-el/la)? First left, second right, straight on to the end.

Next week
Joseph returns triumphant. Panic spot! Leaving work.