Hola mi amigos

A feeling of the exotic, a romanticism of far off golden sands festooned with date palms bordered by land filled with olive groves and fruit trees. The never ending sunshine easing your weary bones and muscles into perpetual relaxation as you succumb to the stress free zone which most people can only ever dream about or experience for short periods. Yes, that was my dream. To rise late in the morning, take fresh juice and toast on the terrace whilst listening to the birds, looking out over magnificent views, lord of all I surveyed. Ah yes, a fine dream, and for some of the time a reality. But then comes the wake up call, a reality check which brings you right back down to earth.

Right up to the time we took that first flight in the November of 2002 in search of a holiday investment, I had those same ideas of grandeur and splendour seeing myself as the local fruit grower owning umpteen hundreds of acres whilst the little wife and mother in law brought in the fruit harvest and I sat drinking sangria and eating slices of pineapple with scantily clad natives tending my every whim. Good grief, did my vision of Shangri La take a nose dive or what!

We flew into the principle airport of the Costa del Sol, Malaga, on a cold wet evening having to share a reps umbrella while running to the coach. I remember commenting to Rose, Are you sure this is Spain?' The bus took us to our hotel some twenty minutes away and after booking in, we decided to visit the bar to plan and maybe gain some insight or information into our quest.

We had tentatively contacted a number of local (mostly English) estate agents and property developers on the Costa before flying out but we had also planned to visit a number on the street to see what they could offer. Remember, our time on this visit was short with only seven days to have a good browse so we needed to get going as soon as possible.

Speaking to some people in the bar, we found out that the hotel mainly consisted of the more mature though young at heart brigade, whom, for the most part, found it cheaper and more therapeutic to escape the harsh English weather in favour of living the winter months in the relative comfort of the all-inclusive break, with three live shows a week and all the hotpot, fish sticks and casserole you could eat. Hardly Spanish but for the temporary ex-pat, ideal.

The first day, and after a typical non Spanish breakfast, we dressed appropriately in boots, jeans and overcoats to stand at the main entrance doors of reception to await our guide for that morning from one of the pre-arranged agents. And we waited, and waited, and waited. (Welcome to Spain!) Two hours passed before I, under pain of death from my beloved, tried in vain to contact the company office only to find that the director, whom had also been the guide and possibly the whole staff complement, had flown back to England on an emergency and was sorry for not letting us know!!

Stumbling block No1. You may not be surprised to learn that several company reps and agents failed to turn up that week, even after promising to do so come what may. It appeared to us that our business or custom just wasn't that important or more likely as someone pointed out, we were deemed as non serious' buyers by those that could be fussy and had chose not to bother with us, after all, this was the closed season.

It wasn't until the third day that someone actually arrived from a well established estate agency which we had actually thought as one of those who would probably not show up. (Well, it must be ok, Ian Botham had done their advertising.) The man was courteous, friendly and English. He suggested we sat in the bar whilst discussing our needs over a cup of coffee which seemed logical. At least we didn't just take off into the unknown without consultation. He first of all explained who he was, how long he had worked in Spain, a bit about his family and what was more important, his experience in trying to find a place of his own. He did appear the genuine article as far as we could tell and anyway, he was the first and we were three days in with nothing to show for it.

I outlined my ideas of what I was looking for and gave him as much information as possible, highlighting the idealistic points to be included in our search. After we had talked, our rep' sat back and smiled which produced a mixture of puzzlement and mild anger in me as I was in no mood to be patronised.

Mark, as he had introduced himself, looked at me and said, Allan, if you don't mind me saying, I probably have more of an idea of what your looking for than you do, but I'm sorry to say I think you're going to be disappointed'.

Well, I didn't know quite what to say, but the tone in his voice somehow gave me the feeling that he knew alright. He said that he had set aside two full days to help us search for a property and assured us he would take us to view as many houses as possible covering as wide a range of area and prices, this at least making us feel as if the trip would not be totally wasted. He also insisted we were under no obligation to buy or commit as he was a salaried agent and not solely on commission.

Unbeknown to Mark however, we had made prior arrangements with our bank back in England, allotting a sum of cash put on standby should we need it as a deposit in the unlikely event we actually found somewhere.

Remember, this was November and this region of Malaga had just had non-stop rain for ten days, a fact that was to be instrumental in stopping us from making an expensive and drastic mistake.

You see, my initial dream was made up of all the above mentioned criteria, unfortunately, the reality was that 90% of the properties viewed were indeed lovely big houses set in acreage with fruit trees and miles from anywhere, total seclusion, total peace. However isolation, so they say, can be worse than the hustle and bustle of what you have tried to escape from, a fact we now know to be true after speaking and meeting with so many people who have chosen that way of life. A great number of the properties in my dream category were either inaccessible or very difficult to get to and from in the rainy season. They could be just as cold and damp and miserable as any house in the British Isles. Coupled with the fact that the language and culture is different, (as you would expect though some fail to grasp this fact) isolation was not all it was cracked up to be. The possibility of an emergency or other problem requiring immediate attention and an inherent inability to deal with it could shatter the dream which would have been the end of our foreign excursion and any future plans we may have had of living in the sun. It's funny, but I read recently that more than 10,000 people, a great number being British, repatriate to their country of origin every year from Southern Spain alone, isolation being listed as one of the reasons.

No, Mark was right, if he didn't know exactly what we wanted, he certainly knew what we didn't. He did know however that Rose and I needed to be around people, we were socialites eager to experiment with the food and the culture, wanted to speak the language and one day be able to integrate into a whole new society. He knew, because my dream had also been his and so many other people's, except he had had the chance to try it first in his job before making a decision, a fact in our favour that we were lucky enough to find someone first time with first hand experience. Looking back it was a real eye opener.

Top Hint: Spain has an average of 340 days of sunshine a year, but when it rains, boy does it rain. Remember, the Spanish rely on a few weeks rainfall to keep them going throughout the whole year so for a few months in the winter usually between November and February it can really be just as temperately miserable as anywhere else. I saw my eventual property at its worst in the cold and wet when the shops and bars were closed and the holiday season was over. It doesn't matter where you choose to live, be it beachfront or Campo (Spanish countryside), take a look out of season then it can only get better. At the other extreme, searching in the height of summer can be just as daunting as the hot weather for some can be unbearable.

Top Tip: When arranging to meet a developer or estate agent, make sure they know you're a serious buyer with a serious intention to purchase, but also make sure they also know you're meeting with a number of vendors and your time is precious. Get office and mobile numbers and addresses of companies and representatives and above all check out as many properties as possible. Even if, like me, you have an unwavering idea of what you want, then, like me, you may find it's not what you wanted after all.

Spanish facts:In 2007, over 56 million people visited Spain making it the second most popular destination in the world.

Most visited cities on the Costa del Sol are Cadiz, Seville, Granada and Malaga, I would recommend them all, but not Seville in the height of summer, too hot even for me. (The city is nicknamed the frying pan' in summer with good reason) Capital of Spain is Madrid, haven't been there yet.

Dominant Religion is Roman Catholic.

Currency is the Euro though some inland villages still trade in the Peseta, confusing?

There are four different dialects of Spanish spoken. Castilian Spanish, Catalan, Galician and Basque (though I find them all pretty confusing but I'm trying!) Useful phrase: Me llamo (your name) ... como te llama? ... encantado
Pronounced: May yamo ... como tay yama ... encantaadoh
Meaning: I am called ... What are you called? ... Pleased to meet you.

Next week: We knew what we didn't want, the man from Del Monte was no more. (Or was he?) It was now a question of what we did want, where and how? Oh, and a strange encounter with an independent agent!